If Superman was in Sex in the City he’d look like this! Well crap, superman does look like this…oh. 

From the announcement of the film to the controversial casting of former Fantastic Four star, Chris Evans, Captain America was probably this summer most questionable summer super hero film right behind X-Men First Class and the bombshell that was Green Lantern. 

The story it self was not something overly complicated or hard to follow. Its a story of a guy who wants to fight for his country but medically isn’t able too. He is experimented on and becomes America’s first Super Solider. Inevitably the villain who in some ways is Rogers evil counterpart is trying to, through the aid of Hitler, to take over the world using technology not of earth.  

The film opens in modern day in the Arctic where some sailors had stumbled across an 70 year old wreckage. Inside they discover the iconic shield of Captain America. We then are shot back into the past to the start of the second world war where we are introduced to Hugo Weaving’s Red Skull who is searching for the cosmic cube and obtains it. Next we are introduced to a very sickly looking Steve Rogers who is attempting to sign up for the military only to be denied again.

Rogers is a true patriot. He doesn’t scream American, he’s just a good guy who wants to do the right thing and wishes he had the ability to make a difference. As fate has set up Rogers is chosen for an experiment by Dr. Abraham Erskine to become the first Super Soldier. Immediately following the experiment a double agent sets off an explosion and kills Erskine, the good Doctor and friend, of Steve Rogers. It then becomes established that the Nazi organisation Hydra was trying to rob the Super Solider serum, but Steve destroys the last vile at the end of a chase through a 1940’s New York. 

After Steve’s transformation he isn’t rushed right into the war. He becomes a poster boy for American propaganda in an attempt to frighten the Nazi’s. But during a trip to entertain the American Troops he discovers his good friend Bucky Barnes was captured and presumed dead. Steve goes on a one man mission to rescue his friend and ends up freeing 400 captured men. From this point on Steve is given a team of soldiers whose mission is to target all of Hydra’s bases and destroy them. 

We learn that the Red Skull, in his attempt to harness this new technology from the cosmic cube, is planning on destroying all major cities in the world and set up a new world order under him. It is near the end of the second world war when Captain America and his team storm the final Hydra base. The Red Skull tries to escape in an incredibly large aircraft but Captain America manages to get on board before it takes off. The two have a battle to the death on the aircrafts bridge.

Cap destroys the power source for the craft and the Red Skull picks up the Comic Cube and is evaporated and Captain America realises he has to crash the plan or it will continue on its course towards America and destroy its major cities. 

During the crafts decent there is an emotional exchange between Steve and his love interest Peggy, who talk to each other about the future before the craft crashes and the radio goes silent. 

It is here that we see Captain America waking up in a 1940’s hospital bed only to realises that it is a fake and bursts his way out onto the streets of modern day New York city where he is stopped by Nick Fury who tells him when and where he is. 

Having the film bookended in modern day was a nice touch to the film, but more impressively was the re-creation of the 1940’s. Like many who wondered if Chris Evans could pull off this role, after being attached to the shameful Fantastic Four franchise, was able to make us believe his was Steve Rogers and NOT the awful Human Torch. The film was a good stand alone film that had nice foreshadowings for Iron Man, Thor, and Avengers, such as the weaponry created by the Red Skull using the Cosmic Cube which inevitably is used later on by Howard Stark…

…(Tony Stark aka Iron Man’s) dad to create the arc reactor seen in Iron Man one. As well you learn that the cube is not man made but is from the ‘gods’ and came from ‘Odin’s treasure room,’ hinting toward its origins being in Asgard home of Thor, as well as been rediscovered in the post credit scene of Thor. 

Something else I liked was that Cap did not act like a poster boy for America, but was simply a good guy who doesn’t like to see innocent people being hurt no matter who they are. Which in my mind is what makes him a true patriot. 

The love story was probably the films weakest point, but the thing I did enjoy is that Peggy did not suddenly fall in love with Cap after the experiment but rather before when she saw what kind of man he was on the inside. 

The only real downfall was the 3D which, like in most films, was not great and at times was too distracting and hard to focus on. But that aside this was one of the best Super Hero films this summer. Clearly Marvel has swept the stage this summer and its got everyone excited for 2012 for the release of

The Avengers! 

The fourth instalment of the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise is hands down the dullest of the films. The main plot for the last two films dealt with the fading out of Piracy, and this film shows that Pirates of the Caribbean is over. 

One of the biggest flaws with this film is the lack of familiarity. Apart from Jack, Gibbs, and Barbossa there is no returning cast members, not even the famous Black Pearl, which was such a prized treasure of the first three films. 

Jack is running around england, Barbossa is working for the Royal Crown, and Angelica (Cruz) is recruiting under Jack’s name. In a story that feels very forced, Jack is tricked to aid Angelica, Blackbeard’s Daughter, into looking for the fountain of youth on board the famous Queen Anne’s Revenge, Blackbeard’s ship. Jack is nothing more than a witty crew member with no real goal in the entire film. It’s almost like a reality T.V. show followed Jack around and this is what we see…a whole lot of nothing. 

With three groups, Blackbeard’s crew, Barbossa’s crew, and the hardly mentioned Spanish crew all searching for the Fountain, the reasons become rather cliched. Blackbeard is running from a prophesy that the ‘one legged man will kill him’ (ironic that Barbossa happens to have that wooden leg, so no mystery there), Barbossa wants revenge on Blackbeard for kidnapping the Black Pearl and trapping it in a glass bottle (because Blackbeard is not a pirate but a magician), and the Spanish are nothing but holy rollers who see the Fountain as an evil river of life.

The new characters were incredibly underdeveloped; Angelica, Blackbeard, the Minister, and the mermaid all felt forced upon the audience as if we were suppose to enjoy them, but realistically they were just annoying. Angelica is mad at Jack for taking her virginity (wasn’t pirates suppose to be geared for Children?) Blackbeard hides in his cabin for most of the film (wasn’t he the scariest pirates of all time?) the Minister falls in love with the mermaid just because he sees her naked (again, Disney, Pirates, Children?) and the Mermaid needs to shed one tear (there were enough tears of pain from the audience to solve that problem). 

By the end when Barbossa has his revenge and Blackbeard is dying, naturally Angelica is facing death too while Jack is frantically trying to complete the fountain of youth ritual. Next the typical one glass is poison, one glass is the antidote comes into play. Blackbeard selfishly drinks what he thinks is the Fountain of Youth, while Angelica drink the bad water, but of course we all know that the cups are switched and Blackbeard dies while Jack is not tempted once by the fountain of youth. 

As much time as Jack wasted in the first 3 films wanting to be the most memorable pirate and wanting to live forever he isn’t even fussed about the fountain being right in front of him. The ending was an anti-climax with no big reveal. The biggest cringing moment was at the end when Jack and Gibbs reunite, after Gibbs had stolen all the ships in a bottle from Blackbeard’s ship, now Barbossa’s. Then to end with a bang Jack turns to Gibbs and says, “A pirates life for me,” screen fades to black and I want to fall over dead. 

If I had the choice of watching pirates 4 again and gaining eternal life or simply dying, I think I’d choose death. Rob Marshal (director) clearly tired to cash in on the already established franchise by adding pointless underdeveloped characters and plot lines. It was a truly exhausting film that made you miss the silliness of Will and Elizabeth. Every word Jack uttered felt forced, as if someone was trying to be Jack but not doing it very well. 

On Stranger Tides is nothing but a cheap rip-off of a book fused with Disney characters and Blackbeard. By the end you feel like you’ve sat through twice the length of the previous films and are left flabbergasted at how awful it was. Hopefully this puts a long needed rest to the Pirates franchise as it clearly needs it. Mediocre scripts and acting is not enough to carry something that was so special in its debut in 2003.